When we talk about marriage, family, and parenting, most people agree that these are among the most important parts of life. Yet, they are also often the most challenging. Over the years, I’ve met countless couples and parents who felt stuck, weighed down by conflict, or simply unsure of how to move forward. This is where the story of Unity Family Services begins.

The Birth of Unity Family Services

Unity was born from a deep need in our communities: a safe and confidential space where families could seek help while knowing their faith and values were at the heart of the process. Too often, people avoid reaching out because they fear being judged, misunderstood, or having their privacy exposed. Unity was set up in 2008 to break those barriers.

My own journey into this work wasn’t planned. I never imagined I would spend so much of my life working with families and relationships. But again and again, I found people approaching me with struggles that weren’t about theology, but about life: broken communication, unmet expectations, parenting challenges, and the pain of not being understood. I realised there was a gap and what our communities needed was structured support, rooted in both professional practice and faith.

Lessons Learned Along the Way

Through my work, I’ve noticed a common pattern: many people believe the other person is the problem. “If only my spouse changed…” “If only my child listened…” But rarely do we pause and ask: What is my role in this conflict? How might my behaviour be contributing to this situation?

It’s easier to point outward than inward. Yet, real growth only happens when we have the courage to look at ourselves. That’s where the real work begins.

There is no magic pill that transforms a relationship or a family overnight. Change requires patience, humility, and consistent effort. A facilitator or counsellor can guide, advise, and shine a light on blind spots—but they cannot do the work for you.

As the saying goes “a problem shared is a problem halved.” The very first step is being frank and honest, first with yourself, and then with someone who can help you. Unless you can identify the root causes of the issue, you cannot hope to resolve it. Many people keep trying to plaster over the surface cracks, but this only leads to the problems resurfacing later. Diagnosis must come before treatment.

Another pattern I’ve noticed is that many people don’t want someone from the outside involved. They say, “We’ll handle it ourselves.” But if you’ve been

struggling for years without progress, perhaps it’s time to try something different. Seeking help is not a weakness—it is a sign of humility and maturity.

The Courses and Workshops

Seeing the same common mistakes happening over and over again across different marriage cases, led me to develop programmes to help single Muslims and married couples in their journeys. These are available at www.amerjamil.com.

We have also delivered parenting workshops with our parenting expert, Sumbla Qureshi, as well as multiple workshops on topics ranging from generational trauma, adoption and fostering to understanding dementia.

Faith at the Core

One of Unity’s unique strengths—its USP—is that we never separate faith from practice. Yes, we draw on counselling skills, on tools from psychology and even NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), but everything is filtered through a faith lens.

Another strength of Unity is our dedication to the highest levels of confidentiality. We recognise in a small knit community where people know people, trusting others with sensitive private information can be very difficult. Unity has built a reputation for being a safe space allowing people to open up and work on themselves.

Moving Forward

The work at Unity has only grown over the years and I expect it to keep growing, given the nature of the work. Relationships and parenting will always be challenging, but with the right mindset and skills, they can also become sources of joy and growth.

My message is simple: do not wait for things to break before you seek help. Invest in your marriage. Invest in your parenting. Invest in yourself. When families thrive, our communities thrive.